It's been a reflective couple weeks for me in regards to the band. Prior to our last show I had been feeling sick and congested (aka awesome for singers!) and on top of that when we got on stage the vocal monitors were WAY too low and the amps were WAY too loud. Consequently I blew my voice out and had to stop the show 2/3 of the way into it. It had never happened before and it was very disappointing for me. I went through a few days of the "whoa is me" mentality and really started to reflect on music and the band in general.

There are so many ups and downs about creating music. In its purest form, just sitting at home with a guitar or piano by yourself, it's such complete bliss (most times, anyway). On the other hand, the duties and stresses of actively pursuing music as a living can be downright exhausting. Things as simple as getting other human beings together to practice is such a huge ordeal. Add to that the financial burden of an indie artist, the constant feeling of needing to do "more" and promote and get in people's faces etc etc. As much as music is supposed to be fun, the business side to it is the exact opposite of fun - which I guess would make it lameboringshitty.

So that old question comes back to mind. Why? What is the reason for pursuing music in this way? Can't you just be a bedroom artist and upload some tracks to soundcloud/youtube like the 9 million other wannabes out there? Well...obviously everyone has different motivations for why they pursue music. Get chicks, respect of peers, money, fame, adoration, fill some eternal void in your soul, yada yada. And while all of those are arguably valid reasons, I had to ponder this yet again and how it applies to me personally. Because you start to lose the plot at some point. And what I realized, again, after briefly considering moving on from music, is that I don't know anything else that would make me happier as my life's work. Besides the idea that I hate quitting anything, it's my passion. It's a purpose. It's really the only thing I enjoy. It's the only thing that gets my blood pumping and makes me excited for "work." I think about sitting in my rocking chair in Florida and going through my stack of shit that I "accomplished" in life, and a shit-ton of music (good, bad or otherwise) is what I really look forward to seeing.

So once again I became excited about music and the future. And I answered the question for myself - why? Well why the fuck not? What else am I gonna do?!

Which reminds me of our song Headlight (which we're currently creating a video for - coming soon!), it deals with this very topic. Sort of an ode to music. You can listen and check out the lyrics here:

As always, thanks for the support! You guys always keep us encouraged. Upwards and onwards...



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